Praise Him

A midnight view from my balcony

Last night, after lying in bed for a couple sleepless hours, I got up and sat out on our balcony.   I love being out on the balcony, it’s upstairs off of our bedroom and surrounded by trees.  It is a secluded place to retreat to, a little slice of heaven here on earth.  If we ever have to move, it is what I would miss most.

For several nights now, I can’t fall asleep.  It has been hot and humid and I don’t sleep as well if I’m not bundled under several layers of blankets.  So, at about midnight I went and sat outside and just looked up at the trees, the stars and the moon.  It was so peaceful .

Sitting there, taking in the beauty of the night, I thought I would try and capture the image on film (I still say film, even though I have advanced to a digital camera). 

“Praise the Lord, O heavens, Praise Him from the skies!

Praise Him, all his angels, all the armies of heaven.

Praise Him, sun and moon, and all you twinkling stars.

Praise Him, skies above.

Praise Him, vapors high above the clouds.”

Psalm 148:1-6 (The Living Bible)

Being outside, with a slight breeze blowing, makes me think of the Holy Spirit.  I don’t see the Holy Spirit with my eyes, but I feel him moving all the time.  It reminds me of one of my favorite verses:

“The wind blows wherever it pleases. You can hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going.  So it is with everyone born of the Spirit”.

John 3:8 (NIV)

It gives me great peace to know that I don’t always have to know what tomorrow will bring, I just have to trust the Holy Spirit to guide me where I need to be.  And knowing that the wind changes direction often, I find my life changing direction often also.  I can plan, but I never really know.  I am excited to see where my liluga’s take me.  They are a joy to make and a joy to give away, and I pray the Holy Spirit takes me where I need to go with them.  I will enjoy the journey!

Vintage Liluga

I have a basket of liluga's sewn and ready to go.  I gave only a couple away in the past few weeks.  I have two more cut out and ready to sew.  I have been using bamboo fiber to stuff them and I recently ran out.  It is more expensive than polyester fiber, so I wait for a 40-50% off sale to buy it.  It has not been on sale for over a month now.  I just received the new sale flyer from the fabric store and it isn't going on sale again.  What to do?  I searched the internet and couldn't find it any cheaper than the regular price at the store.

I'll wait.  Waiting is good. 

Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him.  Psalm 62:5

Loving Yourself

My idea with the ligulas’ was to give them away to other people who needed encouragement.  However, last month I wound up in a deep funk for several days.   Everything irritated me and I was very down on myself (it had a little to do with pms!).   I got to a point where I realized that I needed to give a liluga to myself.  

We are all trying to do so much these days.  I can’t love others until I love myself.  I can’t love myself until I love the Lord my God.  When a Pharisee asked Jesus which is the greatest commandment in the Law, he replied:

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.  All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
Matthew 28:36-40

Love your neighbor as yourself.  I have to ask, how many people really love themselves?  I know there are hundreds of things I would love to change about myself.  My personality, my looks, my circumstances, etc.  Does this mean I do not love myself?   Does loving yourself mean you are happy with everything in your life?  Never being jealous of anyone else??   These are some thoughts that I have been pondering lately.

When I’m at a low point, it makes me think about my faith and my relationship with God.  Do I really love God and believe that He loves me?  Does my life reflect what I believe?  My heart wants to serve the Lord and to give to others.  I want to be able to serve because I love others, not because I think it will earn me brownie points with God.  Of course, in order to love others, I must love myself.  I have to be content with who I am in Christ and believe I am lovable.  Otherwise my service to others will be void of love.  And I think people can tell the difference.  I do believe that the more we give of ourselves to others, the less we think about ourselves and our needs.  Perhaps letting go of “me” actually helps me to be more content with myself and my circumstances, which results in my loving myself more. 

That said, I am putting a liluga on my kitchen window sill to not only remind me that God loves me, but to love myself.   

Thankfulness

I am reading a book called “God’s Guest List” by Debbie Macomber.  She talks about all the people that God has put into our lives.  Some are always there; others are only there for a season.  Mothers, fathers, teachers, strangers, etc. - they all make an impact on our lives.  It got me thinking about all the different people God has put in my life.  Some have made a huge impact, others less so.

She also talks about how we can be an influence in other people’s lives.  When I am thinking of who to give my liluga’s away to, I limit my thinking to how I can make a difference in someone’s life that is going through a rough time.  But what about the people who influenced me?  Through this book, I am challenged to think of people who God put in my life for a reason and who made a difference.  People I want to say “thank you” to. 

It reminds me of the song by Ray Boltz,

Thank you for giving to the Lord
 I have a life that was changed
Thank you for giving to the Lord
I am so glad you gave

I am not very good at saying thank you to people who have reached out to me.  Sometimes I’ll read a book that really speaks to me, and I think that I should write the author and let them know.  Or I’ll hear a speaker on the radio who does the same thing.   Of course, I never follow through.  Writing a note to a close friend who does a kind act for you is easy.  Writing to strangers it more awkward for me. 

This week, my challenge for myself is to write a letter of thanks to a Christian artist whose music and message really spoke to me, encouraged me and got me out of a spiritual slump. 

It was the fall of 2006; I had been on my own with my three kids for two years and divorced for a little over a year.  We had been living in the bottom floor of a small, run-down (but charming) 100 year old house in town.  Although it was in a nice neighborhood, it was always a rental and completely neglected.  I only moved there because the rent was cheap, and it was close to my kid’s school.  The three kids were all together in the living room/bedroom.  I was in the small bedroom.  My only counter space in the kitchen was 12” x 24”.  After almost two years of being cramped in together, and many household mishaps (rain in my pantry from a leak in the upstairs shower, the plaster ceiling above our tub crashing down due to a leak from upstairs (never repaired), the ancient water pipes in the basement bursting and the land lord insisting on only patching them, etc.), I wanted to move. 

Everything else in town was so expensive.  But the house was falling apart and the land lord (who was an alcoholic) was not interested in repairing things properly.  I found someone who was moving and willing to rent her house to us, but it was several hundred dollars more per month.  My desire to be out of our home and the space and beauty of this other house made me disregard the huge jump in rent and move in to the new house.  Once there, I was sick to my stomach.  I couldn’t believe I took on such a big expense.  I moved in early August, and was really struggling through the first few months.

One day that October, while working from home, I was listening to Moody Bible Radio in Chicago.  They were giving away tickets to a live “Midday Connection” talk show featuring Sara Groves.  I called in and actually won a pair of tickets.  It brightened my day!

The week of the talk show, I was sick with a bad cold and cough.  But I wasn’t going to let that stop me from going.  I brought a friend with me and we drove the hour drive to Chicago and went to Moody Bible Institute for the show.

I wish I could tell you exactly what Sara Groves talked about that day, but I really don’t remember.  What I liked was that she was a simple person with a passionate heart.  What did affect me were the lyrics to her songs.  Each person attending that day received a goody bag with books and Sara’s current CD, “.  It was later as I listened to her songs and the words to her songs that I was changed and uplifted.

The song that got me most was “Just Showed Up For My Own Life”.   I really felt like I had been sleeping, going through a separation, divorce and life on my own with three young kids. I couldn’t see clearly and I was letting it all get to me and bring me down.  It was like a wake-up call to hear God’s voice and know that there was more to this life than what I was going through.

The other song that spoke to me was “It’s Going to be All Right”.  Yes, no matter what we are going through in this life, as long as you believe, it is going to be all right.  Cast your cares on Jesus. 

This small but impacting event encouraged me greatly.  Although it happened 5-1/2 years ago,  I believe it’s never too late to say “Thank You” to someone. 

Listening

I have just finished sewing a new batch of liluga’s.  They are sitting quietly in a basket in my sewing room, awaiting their new homes.  I need to pray to God about who I should give them to.  After I pray, I need to listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit and be able to hear who He puts on my heart.  Listening isn’t always easy. 

I have been reading several different books on writing, and in one of them the author suggests a writing exercise on listening.  She recommends sitting with a paper and pen, and for ten minutes or so, write what you hear.  Here is what I wrote:

“As I sit here on this cold, winter evening, I have the Super Bowl and all it’s crazy commercials going on in the background.

I hear the heat blowing into the room.  I like that sound because it means warmth.  No blowing noise, no heat.  The sound is almost as loud as the T.V.  Ismael (my husband) has the volume low.  I can hear the roar of the crowd at the stadium.  The announcers voices are smooth and calm, unlike the soccer announcers on the Spanish stations.

The heat just shut off.  I heard Ismael swallow.  He is rubbing his finger over my leg, against the corduroy of my pants, making a swishing sound.

I can hear my step-son, Sebastion, going from his room to the bathroom, opening and shutting the doors.  The clock across the room it ticking.  Most of the time I don’t hear it.  Today I do.  Today I am listening.

Ismael just smirked at a commercial.  The air is getting cooler, but it is quieter.  Most of the time, I don’t listen.  My inner thoughts are louder than the outside noises.”

I did this exercise a couple of weeks ago, and as I reread it, the last sentence really jumps out at me.  I have a ton of inner thoughts going on at all times in my head, thoughts that block out a lot of outside noises.  Some of those outside noises are good and need to be heard.  Like hearing from God.  I need to shut off my inner voice and just listen.  I am going to do this exercise again, but this time I will listen to what God is saying.

“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.”  John 10:27

Spring is in the Air!

liluga #20

We are having a beautiful week of warmer weather.  The giant icicles have all melted and the snow is slowly receding.  I have been busy sewing and made my first bunny-eared liluga.  Perfect for spring!

A little bit about my liluga's - each one is hand sewn with love and lots of detail. Each liluga is an original and is sewn with recycled (laundered and clean), natural-fiber fabrics. I try to use mostly cottons, linens and wools.  Their hearts are hand-stitched on, and each one has an embroidered, signature "L" on their behind.  I stuff them with bamboo fiber fill, which is eco-friendly and non-allergenic (just in case you want to hug your liluga!).

As I give away the liluga's to people I know, I have gotten such positive feedback from each person.  Little things can really make a difference!

Thank you for looking at my blog and have a blessed day!


#19




#18



#19

Going Cat Crazy

I have been experimenting with sewing cats.  These two are a little fall/harvest looking.  I'll have to come up with some fun spring colors. (That's optimistically thinking that spring is just around the corner!)

We survived the blizzard!  It really wasn't so bad.  We measured about 16" of snow on our driveway.  The kids got two snow days out of it.  They wanted to stay home today, too.  Their thinking was, "what's the point of going back for one more day, then being off again for the weekend?"  My husband was a real trooper and worked hard to get the driveway and walkways clean.

Caleb in his fort



Our long driveway



Ismael


I am at the library right now.  Currently, I do not have a computer at home that can handle the internet and we do not have internet service.  So, I come to the library to use their computers.  It works out pretty well.  However, my brother has hopefully found me a used laptop.   Then it will be "the travelling laptop".  I am looking forward to hanging out at the coffee shop and working on the computer.  Perhaps next time I write, it will be from my new laptop!